Natsume Yuujinchou Diary: Day 03

The fear of walking alone in this unstable world…

Ever since I was young I can see ghosts. Or rather, I have several experiences wherein I have seen them. This is not really a topic that I’m willing to brought up during conversations but I’m lucky that I have understanding peers that won’t judge me based on that even though they don’t believe in the existence of such entities. In fact, they are really so into my stories.

But what if I live in a place and time in which knowledge about ghosts are rare? And the fact that I can see ‘ghosts’ would make people around me call me weird and liar? Especially if I were just a kid?

The thought scares the hell out of me because, I know, I will feel alone.

Although it’s a bit shallow example, I think Natsume feels that kind of loneliness. He lives in the world knowing the existence of these so-called youkai. He can see them but everyone around him can’t. At such a young age, he was called “liar” and “weird” by everyone who’s ignorant about those creatures. He doesn’t have someone to confide with about those things. He doesn’t even know if what he is seeing isn’t just part of his imaginations! That made him believe that there really is something wrong with him.

No one… no one understands him.

Yet, he met a mysterious woman at the park who told him that she knew about the existence of youkai. That made him happy. At last, he is not alone! He isn’t the only one who can see them!

He went to see her constantly until one day, he discovered that she’s also a youkai.

He felt so betrayed. He finally felt that there’s someone else, other than himself, who was able to see these things. As if he is not alone in that unknown world anymore! But when it turned out that that woman is really a yokai, that hurt him even more.

Now, he discovered that there are youkai exterminators in the area. That means, they are someone who can see youkai. That raises his hopes again to find someone just like him and maybe ask some questions.

And after a series of incident, he finally meets Tanuma, the son of the Buddhist who just transferred to the Eight Field.

I really like it. Every meeting feels so natural. They are not forced. Some of those people or yokai he met may never show up again and some of them remain in the series. Much like in real life. Small things like this are just so precious.

What’s even more precious in this episode is that, Natsume is starting to understand youkai. Not completely, but when he appreciated the fact that the woman he met on the park showed herself up to accompany him and to ease his lonely heart, his character developed already. I understand his actions back then since he’s just a kid but I would love for them to meet again for him to properly say his thanks and apology.

Anyway, another lovely episode.